Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
