Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
