apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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