I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
