It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
