Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
