She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
