This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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