you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize