I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize