you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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