Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
