actually, I'm a sock model
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize