I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
