No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
