To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm at about main and main street
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
