there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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