I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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