you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
