His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize