Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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