the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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