Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I need water and some morals
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
