How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
