So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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