Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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