ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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