I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
