In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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