How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
