Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
