I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You are the jesus of drinking
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I came so hard my ears popped.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
