And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
