Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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