You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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