Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize