some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
