Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
