last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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