Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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