My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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