oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
