Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
