I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
