i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Your penis caused this!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
