ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
