he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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