Me. At least after what I've been through.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
