I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
