It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
