3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I intend to get homeless drunk
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
