kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You were trust falling into bushes
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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