walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
