And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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