Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
