pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize