My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
