Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
