I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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