he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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