hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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