She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
