Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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