I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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