i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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