Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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